Yes I'm the same Malcolm Holmes from Portland Maine that makes collages and does stand up comedy.
"Say, what the hell is that you're working on Malcolm?"
"This thing? It's a collage Earl."
"Is that so? What do you reckon something like that will fetch?"
"Well that's a complicated figure. First, you have to figure out the number of labor hours I put into it, then there's the cost for supplies; glue and magazines. The cost of gas it takes to drive it down to the Kinko's to get it printed up. Don't forget you need to factor in the inflation. Not to mention sentimental value. Oh I reckon a collage like this........... this one here ought to fetch what it's worth."
"Goodness! That's a steal!"
"Ayuh, well you get what you pay for."
I am thankful that I have some Yankee ingenuity in my heritage. Since I can't afford a $200 professional framing I have to rely on whatever I can find around me. A $9 frame from Goodwill will do fine. Just remove all the parts of it that you don't want and there you have it. The 29"x12" Face collage is hanging up at 722 Congress Street. A nice coffee shop near the 7-11. Check it out. Support his shop.
Sometimes I like to do my cutting outdoors with the natural lighting. I have to say to all you good people who walk by my bench muttering about the litter: GET BENT. I've always cleaned up my trash. When I'm done cutting, around sunset, I will pick up all my microscopic BIODEGRADABLE (just like you) pieces of magazines that you are so deathly afraid of stepping on. While I'm at it I pick up other people's trash because I am an upstanding proactive citizen. I have never seen anyone else picking trash up besides the one guy who started to pick up my litter. Bless his God fearing heart. I can only imagine how concerned you are, seeing as how 2 dimensional trash riles you so much, about the neglected kids, crackheads, terminal ill patients and lonely people I pass by on my way to the bench. Now I shall pray for you. Thank you.
If you would like to be immortalized in a collage now is the time to send me a picture. The newest collage I'm working on is a large collage that will feature about 1,000 faces. It is in the style of Where's Waldo. I'm hiding certain people in this one, including 2 of my old bosses who were in magazines. Send me a high quality picture that looks as close to magazine quality as possible. It can be no larger than a square inch. This should be finished around the end of July if I'm lucky, so send it before then and you will be forever immortal.
On my walls are an abstract oil painting from my friend Kenny, a water color scenescape of Portland, a rawhide tamping of Buddha from Thailand, my own collages and an ill acid trip drawing in colored pencil from a guy named Heavy Metal Dave. I never realized that none of it fit with decor before.